A Mummy’s Story

 I don't remember really understanding anything that was going on on the day Evelyn was born, I was completely absorbed in her and trying to get my head round our situation. I knew Aly had agreed for her to have had a longline put in and that she constantly needed suction, but the details of why were lost on me at the time. We spoke again to the consultant on Saturday and it started to sink in what was going on. Evelyn needed surgery urgently and she was booked in with a surgeon who specialises in her condition first thing Monday morning. She had a tracheo-oesophageal fistula - a complicated term, I know. When a baby develops the oesophagus is attached to the trachea. During normal development the oesophagus detaches from the trachea and attaches to the throat. This had not occurred in Evelyn. This was why she needed a longline to provide the fluid and nutrition her body needed in the short term. A pouch is created where the oesophagus should have attached which fills with saliva, ...

Once I had been stitched up I was taken to the recovery area. I remember feeling so lost and alone. The nurse came over to me and congratulated me. I remember being asked did we have a name for our baby girl. As soon as I had seen her I knew she was Evelyn. We had discussed various names, Aly liked Jasmine, I liked Aurora, and we both liked Evelyn. Really I should have waited to confirm with Aly but at that moment I knew she was Evelyn, so I said she was. I thought it might make up to Aly to have her middle name as Jasmine seen as I had just gone with my gut. Evelyn Jasmine. A beautiful name appropriate for a beautiful baby. I am not sure how long I was in recovery or what else happened, I really was just so lost. I had had a baby and I had no idea where she was. Obviously I knew she was being looked after, but she's meant to be with me. Eventually I was moved to another recovery area and reunited at some point with Aly and our parents. So much of this time is a blur to me, I suppo...