Birthdays
I sit here right now, and my heart is racing, I feel like it might explode at any moment. This is not a good time of year for us. For over a week now I haven't slept well, constant nightmares waking me up, heart pounding, I don't feel safe. I was always one for going big around my birthday, partying, enjoying the moment so it's very easy to continue that pretence, I can hide behind it. Every birthday is another year without Evelyn. Let me tell you about our birthdays 5 years ago. 2nd April 2019 - As usual I went to spend the day with my girl. Lots of cuddles. She hadn't been well after her vaccinations, which is normal for preterm and poorly babies as so much of their energy is going into just surviving. I remember Aly read her a bedtime story that night, and we left her to go to bed. That never got easy, having to walk away every night, it crushed me. 3rd April 2019 - As usual I turned up in the morning to spend the day with my girl, but this morning was differ...